


UND3R O4TH

by endreal



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Courtroom Drama, F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-16
Updated: 2012-11-16
Packaged: 2017-11-18 18:57:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endreal/pseuds/endreal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terezi judges Dave as he comes face to face with the Alternian justice system for a crime he didn't commit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	UND3R O4TH

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WildHaunt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildHaunt/gifts).



Terezi banged the gavel on the courtblock, “COURT 1S NOW 1N S3SS1ON. 4ND NOW TH3 PROS3CUT1ON W1LL PROC…”

“what i dont get some kind of all rise for the honorable judge pumpkinbutt or whatever you named your stuffed dragon”

“D4V3 W1LL YOU B3 QU13T? YOU’R3 ON TR14L H3R3”

“oh yeah sure sorry about that i didnt mean to make a mockery of the troll justice system or anything”

“TH4NK YOU”

“sure thing”

“4NYW4Y, YOU ST4ND 4CCUS3D OF TH3 H31NOUS MURD3R OF 4DM1R4L FUSC14P4W. HOW GU1LTY DO YOU PL34D?”

Dave walked into the room. “nah its cool he was with me the whole time we were writing hella excellent raps with flow so strong they will totally put out tavbros sick fires i mean carving river banks out of bedrock they had so much flow”

Dave fistbumped Dave. “we were totally doing that”

“those rhymes are tighter than the turning radius on an atom of helium”

“WH4T? NO. TH3R3 W4S 4 W1TN3SS WHO C4N PL4C3 YOU 4T TH3 T1M3 4ND LOC4T1ON OF TH3 CR1M3.”

“oh you mean deputy snifflepuce over here who is trying to abscond from the trial because he cant stand the heat” Dave had the scalemate in hand, sitting on the window ledge. Dave and Dave nodded coolly at him.

“PUT H1M B4CK TH1S 1NST4NT”, Terezi was starting to get a little irked. “H3 1S 4N 1MPORT4NT W1TN3SS 1N TH1S C4S3”

“if youre sure about that then why is he trying to avoid interrogation”

“yeah i think he probably did it himself”

“word”

“yep see hes trying to escape out the window”

"or smell or whatever"

“landscape pane or whatever the hell you call it here on alternia”

Terezi licked her lips contemplatively. “TH3 L3SS 4 W1TN3SS W4NTS TO T4LK 4BOUT 4 CR1M3 TH3 MOR3 L1K3LY 1T 1S TH4T TH3Y 4R3NT 4S 1NNOC3NT 4S TH3Y S33M. D3PUTY OCHR3SNORT OR ‘SN1FFL3PUC3’ 4S H3 W4S KNOWN ON TH3 STR33T 1S S3NT3NC3D TO 3X3CUT1ON FOR 41D1NG 4ND 4B3TT1NG TH3 TR4G1C MURD3R OF 4DM1R4L FUSCH14P4W 4ND FOR 4TT3MPT1NG TO L13 UND3R O4TH”

“cool”

“cool”

“hey thanks guys for helping to get my ass out of the fire like that i was worried my chicken nuggets were about to get extra crispy if you know what i mean but you really came through in the nick of time”

“heh”

“no big deal youll do the same thing when it comes up”

Dave gave a thumbs-up to Dave and Dave, and then Dave and Dave left.

“DONT TH1NK YOU G3T OFF TH3 HOOK TH4T 34S1LY M1ST3R STR1D3R” Terezi tossed a noose around his neck with surprising accuracy for a blind girl.

“oh shit”

“YOU 4R3 FORM4LLY 4CCUS3D”

“man im in trouble now”

“OF B31NG CR1M1N4LLY 4DOR4BL3”

Terezi tugged on the free end of the noose, pulling Dave closer. With a quick yank she pulled his head down so his chin was resting on her shoulder and they were cheek to cheek. Then, with a wicked grin on her face, she licked him—slowly and deliberately—from the base of his neck all the way up to his temple. “4ND 4LSO ON F3LONY CH4RG3S OF D3L1C1OUSN3SS”

“oh man that is so gross you know how gross that is and that i dont like being licked ugh what the fuck tz” Dave protested, even as his arms found their way around Terezi’s waist.

“H3H3H3H3H3”


End file.
